I have grand delusions of being a domestic goddess, hence the "wannabe" in the tag line. This week Rocky, my black lab, single-handedly demolished this notion Monday night after I spent 45 minutes cleaning up high-velocity blood spatter off my bathroom walls and scrubbing the blood out of the living room carpet.
Rocky has the delusion of being a big, bad dog who hunts critters and keeps his yard safe. Unfortunately, he isn't very good at it. Monday night he came home bleeding and laid down on the carpet. The next thing I know, there's little puddles of red stuff on the carpet. I quickly discovered the source, a chunk of his ear was missing. Yup, someone/thing bit a piece of his ear off and every time he shook his head, blood sprayed everywhere.
After consulting the American Red Cross's pet owner first aid book (a Christmas present) on the best method to wrap his ear. It took a while to find a method that would keep his ear in place.
He looked a little funny.
Jasmine, our other dog, ridiculed him. She didn't allow him in the machine shed, where they have a cozy corner full of hay. She made him sit in the dog house. I think his ego is hurt.
I know that if I'm ever consumed with the desire to off someone, I'll chose a method that doesn't involve blood spatter. Every time I think I've got it all cleaned up, I notice another dark red, almost black spot on the wall, light switch, vanity, shower curtain and bathroom rug. There's no way I'd ever get a crime scene cleaned up to exclude myself from the invesigation.