Monday, March 16, 2009

The Weekend by the Numbers:

42 Hamburger buns munched down
24 Eggs served over-easy
11 Steaks grilled
9 People sleeping in my house
5 Naps taken and we’re not talking about the 3-year-olds -- they didn't nap
5 Pounds of chicken wings consumed
5 Pounds of potatoes baked
4 Onions sacrificed for lunch
4 Uncles (including a few of the “great” variety and I’m not referring to their status)
4 Comments made regarding either A) the need for waders because the BS was getting a little thick or B) the need to install a floor drain in the living room to wash the BS down.
3 Pounds of raw baby carrots eaten with both Ranch and Blue Cheese Dressing
3 Gallons of milk gulped down
2 ½ Pounds of ground beef turned into taverns
2 Heads of cauliflower eaten with both Ranch and Blue Cheese Dressing
2 Heads of broccoli eaten with both Ranch and Blue Cheese Dressing
2 Jam sessions with guitar and ukulele
2 Rolls of TP flushed (Hello septic system, are you OK?)
2 Accidents by the newest potty trainee because she couldn't get into the potty in time
1 Pound of cheese of the Co-Jack and Baby Swiss variety consumed
1 Can of coffee (don’t ask how many pots the Bunn was asked to provide)
1 Door knob, dismantled
1 Aunt (also of the great variety)
1 Gwampa
1 High school-aged cousin
and her boyfriend (All of the males said the same thing in their best Mr. Burns impression “Excellent. Fresh meat.”)

To numerous to count:
Pots of ice tea made and consumed
Beer drunk (I went to bed before much of it was guzzled after I went to bed. I’m guessing Uncle Dan did put much of it away, considering I didn’t see him much on Sunday)

Lessons Learned:

  • I am my family. My laugh, gestures, sense of humor and in some aspects, my looks, comes from the family. It is obvious that I have passed many of these traits on to my children, since I see them in some of their actions and tone of voice.
  • Expect the living room to be filled with laughter, maybe a few tears when you say (while standing in the laundry room) “No, you can’t have the screwdriver back. You took the door knob off.”
  • Expect the uncles to love the story that your almost-2-year-old got kicked out of day care for a day because he bit someone and drew blood.
  • Expect lots of stories about the horribly embarrassing things that I’ve been credited with over the last 29 years – including several my husband has never heard.
  • My kitchen works can work as a good buffet set up.
  • My table can accommodate 12 people sitting around it -- if I can locate that many chairs.

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